From two hearts beating as one
To agony,
my body screaming no
I felt my heart overflowing with joy
Bliss in the midst
by looking at my baby boy
A sacred, deep bond
As you drank mamas milk
Knowing we connected so
Lost in your gaze
no other thing could take its place
I started losing my ways
My mind disconnecting
Slowly bleeding
Each latch a jolt of pain
My mind fractured
Our bond torn and frayed
The exhaustion turned to defeat,
guilt and shame
A broken spirit
Will I ever be the same?
This journey,
once blissful, now fractured
Will always be this way

The candle sputters
The cold rolls in
I sigh disgust
It’s you again
Wasn’t it locked?
But you crept in here
Well yes, hello dear
So, you’ve come for me again?
Though I see you’re from within
Already lost, still trying to win
Hello darkness, my old friend

I cannot wait to see you grow
I hope it goes by slow,
but I know how these things go
I cannot help but think, ask myself…
What are you going to write,
What will you build
What will you play
I do pray you do what you love
Just please, follow the Lord above

I woke up in the dark
Craving for just a spark
To show me the light
to lead the way
All desires left in dismay
Lord, why is my vision gray
It’s dark in here
All feelings are fear
Unable to feel my way around
All I feel is the uneven ground
Nothing to grasp
Time moving slow
Do I hear a river flow,
or feel the cold winter snow
All the surroundings,
I do not know
Finger tips numb
Mind in a slum
I’m told to look outward
I cannot, I’m a coward
I need to look to Christ
His strength is what will suffice

When I first saw your eyes
They shined like the night sky
Deep and dark
Wild and even had a spark
Also, so curious, so aware
Now I see
How they pair oh so well
with your creamy chocolate hair
As you’re taking in mamas milk
I look down and adore the brown silk
Strands looking like chocolate streams
You are still in mamas dreams
You smile as you drink
Making my mama heart
not desire to even blink
I would miss all your tininess
All your liveliness
Please, always stay wild and curious
I love you baby boy
You are mamas sweet joy

When I look into his eyes
Time is no longer by my side
It loses, it fades
My mind in cascades
As I am in another place
His beautiful chocolate eyes
Lead me to believe
I’m looking into a caramel sunrise

As we lay here,
bodies warm,
adoring one another
Discovering the depths of the other
Our naked souls,
bodies fully clothed
My heart flutters, aches,
as the night fades
Knowing this could be our last,
and praying it does not come too fast

The Lord could take us before the sun wakes
This thought is not a mistake,
because He awaits
May His kingdom come tonight,
and us finally be with Christ
His embrace is one we crave
For His soul He gave
All debts are paid
So again we will wake…
Wake in His embrace
And forever be covered in Grace
In His Holy precious name
I ask and say these things again,
Amen

A Sons cry is not one to let slip by
He desires love
you can see this in his eyes
As he looks above,
up in your eyes,
he longs for something more
And you ask yourself, what for
Looking into your eyes,
as he lets out his cries
Mothers milk will soothe him
This comes to mind
As you ponder over
why he cries so deeply
You then realize so sweetly
That he has never known the pain,
has never known the hunger
All these things make you wonder
And he has never known the cold
That’s why he cries when
he now has no hand to hold
Mothers milk and love
Those are what he wants most of
So keep looking into his eyes
listening to his cries
Because these are the days
that will play in your mind
As time, you cannot rewind

No true love for the One can be know
when no fearful reverence is shown
The One True God is of peace and tragedy
He is not One that just fulfills your fantasy
Seeing His purpose through the calamity
will bring you and Him into amity
Going through the hurt, feeling the pain
will only make you gain
Gain His love, gain His strength
So trust in Him,
as His love is more than arms length

Honey would not be honey
without the loving care of bees
Without the bees,
the growth of honey would cease
The ones that go the distance,
way beyond the trees
To collect the sweet nectar
Even amidst the autumn breeze

All to come back
and harvest what they collected
Whether they fly through
the spring breeze,
Or early morning freeze
Honey would not be honey
Without the loving care of bees