I don’t want anger to control my life,
and lose sight of the beauty in the strife
Anger is easily remedied
With God you’ll be able to see
That all things are meant to be
Whether it is pain, or even grief
Through all of these,
gracious is what you will be

Live in the now, before it fades.
You never know what tomorrow will bring; if you’ll even be graced by it’s presence, or taken before it’s too late.

Find a place where you can grow.

Where roses blossom

on your battered soul.

The soil being our Savior,

the sun being the light He puts in your life,

and the warmth is His embrace.

When we feel so broken,

so misunderstood.

It’s in those times we must stand still.

For our eyes cannot see straight,

our feet cannot be planted,

and our souls cannot embrace the storm.

Heartache is where you have tasted what being enough for someone is like,

yet being too much for them at the same time.

It’s a tragedy, really.

To have loved and then lost.

But the true tragedy is to have never loved another.

To have never felt the hole being filled within your heart.

The heart feeling complete and purposeful.

I can not be apart.

Without you all is dark.

The sunsets have no colors,

the morning, no light.

All I can see at night is your face as I close my eyes.

As I’m in college now, so close to earning my Associate of Science, I wish to earn my Bachelor of Science in Psychology. I want to work with troubled kids, adults, young adults…

I have never written a “dear me in 5 years”. I have, although, written a list of goals when I started my freshman year in high school in August and then opened it in May when the school year was almost out. Did I accomplish them? Most of them, yes. I was so surprised that I did because that’s how I thought of myself. Someone who didn’t work toward goals. It’s sad, yes, but I was 14 at the time. Now, I am a thriving 30 year-old, waiting to see what I accomplish in my life.

Now, to myself in 5 years, I hope that you have not let anyone talk down to you. As you would let anyone or anything do that to you at the age of 14. You have been through so much at such a young age, so I know you are slowly fighting your way to the top! Has a man made you feel small or less than? Then you are not the girl I hoped you’d be in 5 years. When you were 30, you dealt with a lot in your long-term relationship, but it wasn’t just him that was the problem. You both have issues, so you two can grow and hopefully be able to work it out. As for work, I hope at 35, 5 years from now, that you’re working with children, young adults, or even adults. Those that have struggled with depression, suicide, anxiety, self-esteem issues. Even kids who live in dysfunctional houses. Those children need someone to guide them, as they don’t normally get that from their homelife. I know you will be that person, that strong woman to build the weak back up. As you did that for yourself, which was far from easy. These things do not seem possible at times for someone, so all they need is a little help. Someone to talk to is something crucial, something so small, yet so big. So I hope that you are living your dream, helping others with mental health ailments, making them feel a purpose either for the first time or helping them gain that back. Dear me 5 years from now, I hope you are the happiest you have ever been. Living in a warm place, or living somewhere with someone that makes you feel whole.

I have met many good people, along with a few bad. That’s just it. I find it impossible to meet just good, or just bad. Also, I have learned that you cannot see the light, without first being in the dark. It is inevitable, unfortunately. We all are consumed with darkness at one point in our lives I believe, and once you have found that light, it shines so much brighter than ever before. As we go through the hard times in our life, we sit back and wonder why we are still in the dark. Some have the strength to pull themselves up, some do not. In a way, it seems like we are meant to go through the dark times that we do. That’s one crazy thing about life, is that there are good and bad for a reason- to maintain a balance in this world of ours. We do good and bad, as well as see the good and bad in others. It’s one of life’s blessings, yet curses.

             These three best friends, they loved each other infinitely, but their friendship ended in a deadly trick. These girls were obsessed with twitter, it was their life-along with Instagram. They posted their thoughts and feelings almost daily, it seemed to be an alternative diary; a digital diary, but one for the world to see. Skylar posted many, and one saying, “Snow makes everything more quiet…” How does such hate develop towards someone you love? To plot murder. For what reason? A friend, not even being out of high school, not knowing what true struggles are, or even what true betrayal entails? Rachel and Sheila, Skylar’s “best friends”, apparently planned to kill Skylar while in Science class one day- Turns out, Sheila and Skylar were always fighting. So, from that day in Science class, Rachel and Sheila planned the murder over the next month. The truth escaped from Rachel, that “We stabbed her”. The officials were shocked, and began to ask, “why did you stab her? Rachel responded, “Well, we didn’t like her.”

             My heart broke as I read this article, my mind along with. These three beautiful girls, so in love with each other, but torn apart by such pity, and in a fatal disaster. 16- year old Skylar’s life ended, all because her two “best friends” didn’t like her. They decided to stab her in the back, stab her from behind. They expressed a sick way of stabbing someone in the back, which is supposed to be just a metaphor. Skylar seemed to be a quiet, yet wild soul. Who loved and hated a lot of things, for really no reason? She was young, that is what kids do, that’s what we all go through to figure out our mind and our souls. As months went on, Rachel showed the investigator where her and Shelia had left Skylar’s body, which was in knee deep snow. Skylar was left in the cold, the freezing cold snow, and yes, it made everything more quiet as Skylar tweeted months back. Her body may be cold, dead, and with nature, but her soul is quiet and rested. There will be no more hate towards her, as her “friends” will dwell on that one decision of killing her, possibly realizing that they love her more than anything now, they will take on the hurt that Skylar must have felt in those last moments of her life, but those two girls will live with that pain for the rest of their lives.

Ashley C. Ford, “THE YEAR I GREW WILDLY WHILE MEN LOOKED ON”

As I read this title, I could not help but relate to this memoir. There is nothing like being able to relate to something you read; it allows you to feel better about the feeling, or the situation you were in, or better yet, that time of your life. Being hungry for love is a very common struggle, but some do not fully understand the feeling or concept of it. In this case, she needs love, not intimate love, she needs pure love, and she didn’t get any.

Kyoko Mori, “A Difficult Balance: Am I a Writer or a Teacher?

I had some understanding about some things in my life after reading this memoir. The dreams, the god awful, confusing dreams I have, I can see now that they can come from anxiety, etc. This memoir is very eye opening for me. It definitely opens your mind up to the world and people’s careers, or what some call their career. They are just a job if you don’t love it. A career to me should be something you love waking up to everyday, and that’s the feeling I got from this author; she put her heart into her writing, and her career. She expressed eventually, that in the classroom, the private and the public can come together, and she can be both a writer and a teacher. Even though she is had to put aside her own writing in order to prepare for the class and to conduct it, she’s bringing her writer’s mind to the discussion at hand. I took a lot away from this memoir, which is encouraging.

Scaachi Koul, “There’s No Recipe for Growing Up”

I have never been to India, but it sounds very intriguing after reading her memoir. The food sounds to die for, considering how she talked about it. The time she moved out, it took her a few years before she craved her mom’s Kashmiri food. She also said, she misses the things that hardly matter, like how her potatoes always ended up crescent-moon shaped, or the way her parathas were always triangular and puckered. I do miss family; it makes me feel like I should be closer to mine. So, in other words, this memoir gave a deeper meaning. I am sure that was one of her intentions.

Annie shed a lot of light about the little things in life, simple pleasures. Poetry is about more than just words and feelings; they have deeper meanings.                                                                                                                                                

This was a very interesting read; enlightening to say the least. To read about someone’s personal thoughts, feelings, that is a privilege to be able to experience. Not many people have that courage, letting everyone in on their lived. With poetry, I have learned that people will use the certain structures when writing as a outlet for therapy, to have some way to release the negative or positive energy.